Sorry, neither am I the kind who can conceal my emotions well

At the very least, I try my very best not to flare up in front of certain people. Like Lisa said, I'm not in the position to say anything. For the sake of the people that I love, I did not choose to keep my mouth shut, because I did not have a choice, I had to keep quiet. That is my way of showing you respect and politeness. Do not start expecting me to behave as though nothing is happening with a big fat smile on my face. Well, because let's face it, I can't.

Silence is golden, silence means that one is tolerating, accommodating and compromising. But that doesn't mean that this is necessarily agreeing with what that is being placed forth. Sometimes, giving in to ridiculous demands blindly is stupid. Some people don't think before they speak, but I don't see the point to stoop down to your level and meet your requirements when they simply do not make any sense.

If you want to go things your way, go ahead and stop trying to change other people. Sometimes, this just won't work. Want to talk about standardisation, then go on and get a machine for replacement, but bother getting human help? Switch to a robot, because it is pretty stupid. It doesn't fight back or talk back, it will listen to your orders totally.

Let's put the topic of who's right and who's wrong aside, because such questions never reach an answer in a million years. Most of the time, both sides are wrong in some ways. What really bothers me is that some people don't even think that there is a problem with themselves. Throwing their weight around makes me despise them. Can't they even see what is going on or the good things that people has done for them? Human magnify flaws and they find fault, they never want to see or acknowledge the good things around them, isn't this trying to make lives difficult for themselves?

People, let's be on our toes. Start trying to be a little more sensitive but not overly sensitive to the extent of being paranoid. Show a little kindness and courtesy to people around you. Isn't this what Singapore and that cute little Singa lion tried to inculcate in all fellow Singaporeans years back?

There's like plenty of things on my mind. I need some inner peace and I don't know where to seek them. I need some time on my own to sort things out with myself again. I planned to enjoy this entire week, wanted to fill the days up with lots of fun and laughter but I think its going to be a failed mission.

Stop and stare

I don't know when will this little tinge of regret eventually leave me. Seeing certain things that had that association still have the power to set me thinking and I will be still wondering about that many uncertainties that never bother to take place. I've never been a ruthless person but there will certain times where I have to get myself to know when I have to take big steps and look away.

Watched Black Swan today. When I spent the first ten or so minutes watching the movie alone, I had this thought that I may actually try watching a film on my own especially when the theatre was pretty empty on a Thursday afternoon like this. probable that I have to overcome the sight of the person casting me pathetic glares when I buy a single ticket.

By the way, Enna came in later and she was etching half of the movie with her hands covering her face. Don't know if we are watching horror or not.


Back to the movie. It was quite meaningful to me, because I actually had a younger cousin who is slightly mental because she wants everything to be perfect and couldn't quite deal with stress. And after seeing watching the show, the more I feel that she should learn how to relax and not be so tensed up or else she may worsen and become like the lead. Somehow I could relate to the movie I guess. Which brings to my point being a far too perfectionist is a pain sometimes. Like in the end, you only end up hurting no one but probably yourself.

Alright exams over, am gonna enjoy myself fully in my break. First up, the activity for today is to sleep and watch tv, yay!

Imbalance

There will be times when I feel like this, where you feel a little upset about certain results that happens as a consquence of my own incapabilities. Not that I'm very worst off than other people right now, but your heart just felt imbalance. Partly because deep down, I did wanted to be part of the norm, to look good and I wanted that status too.

Hooked on tv. Tried cutting myself down during exams period to sleep more and read more but still failed. Ended up sleeping real late as usual. I have to keep it at the back of my mind and only allowing to watch Tales of Two Cities tonight, then I will dutifully read management notes - the topic that I'm like least confident of.

Okay, am satisfied after dinner. Shall wait for the show to start ;)

He'll love me very much, because I'm special and so different from other girls. It's gonna be all or nothing

I think this is the best thing a friend ever told me to convince me how beautiful love can possibly be. And how much a man, other than my own father, could love me

Somewhat I myself is anticipating to see this man appearing right before me with my own eyes

Am on the way if heading home now. Saw the laser lights but the fireworks didn't appear so it made me rather disappointed. I think the fireworks was a special for the official opening ceremony only. Anyway there were quite a lot of other people who thought that there was going to be a fireworks tonight

Shall shower and catch up with some episodes before heading to bed. Got to sleep more to make up for the loss of sleep yesterday

Plan to read up more materials tomorrow again. Four days of war time will pass before I even know it then I can meet up with BBF to watch a movie, enjoy a dinner and unwind :)

择日不如撞日，撞日也要撞得对

Missed the chance of heading to Taipei this March. Why did my class got to start on 7 March instead of like two weeks later? Say goodbye to my SQ flight and my 3 night stay at some 5-star hotel for free :/ MAJOR OUCH

How's your V day, to my girls who have that special someone. I hope it had been a nice day for you people.

Had a four hour nap this afternoon. I'm waving hello to a sleepless night that is oncoming. Gosh, untimely because I am having my presentation at that 9am class tomorrow morning. Had to wake up real early.

I hate watching Singapore drama serials with my family. They got nothing else to say other than to complain how boring, lame and illogical the whole story gets. Well, I could only say that drama is something that is made to somewhat waste your time isn't it. If you had better things to do, then you wouldn't be actually watching the show right. I remembered some line in Teochew that my late grandmother used to say, "The people who acts in the shows are crazy, the people who watches the shows are fools" Exactly, isn't it?

Dislike aimless Saturday nights

I want to have something to do, possibly a nice plan with nice people, doing nice things that I enjoy doing. Like dining out and catching up. I'm so bored with myself to the extent that I feign sleeping as I didn't want to be caught with hanging out with my new best friend - the television, in my room again. I retreat into isolation because I didn't want to be spotted with a not so white face. What I've heard half an hour ago was literally the pot calling the kettle black

I think I feel the anger within myself building up. I need an outlet to release all of that. Maybe I need to go to my secret hideout for a stroll very soon - like tomorrow perhaps.

I beginning to feel like a grumpy old woman who could not stand the pointless din out there. What's the point of talking when it's not going to hold water. The lack of substance and every thing leads to no solution just bothers me much. A total waste of time.

Keeping quiet seem like the best. You don't pick up a fight and neither will people find fault. Act blur when it's necessary.

I'm almost three weeks through my 7 weeks of 'not so hectic' tuition weeks. Exams gonna be over in about two weeks time so I probably get to enjoy a bit of holidays completely.

V day in one week's time. I don't know if I was gonna date Management or Marketing.

Feeling very tired lately. It was said that if you slept more, you felt even more tired but come on, isn't it the point to sleep more when you really feel tired!? Totally make no sense to me. Got to admit that I've been gulping quite a bit of chicken essence lately.

Am now sitting in the living room typing this while waiting for my maid to be done with plucking the kang kong. Wonder why she's taking so long... Only after she's okay then I can go cook my Campbell soup. Anyway thought I can get my Wednesday and Thursday off this week but too bad, have to work on project tomorrow and there's a bizmath test that I've forgotten all about on Thursday.

Okay, the maid's done. I can go cook now.

Here's a piece of happy news to share. My niece just started calling me gu gu two days back. Happy much :D

Change is the only constant

Want to change, don't want to change? Questions like this brings everyone headache. Change is everywhere, change is basically about everything. Humans are never satisfied, so they change or make changes to things around them, in order to have themselves pleased. Humans are this insatiable and self centred creatures, you and I alike so fret not and don't have to be ashamed.

Finally done with communications report, couldn't be any happier.

I'm getting old. I realised today that I couldn't stand walking around with my heavy bag after teaching 7 hours straight today. I really wanted to be a filial daughter and accompany my parents out and let them enjoy the rest of the day but somehow I ended up really lethargic and grumpy before the it even turned dark.

I think the only activity I could embrace on every Saturday is having dinner, movies and long talks with BBF. Stuff requiring no walking.

You envy people, want a bit of that. You want to have a bite and taste it, but you know you're never gonna reach it or seize it. Those beautiful pictures are only for viewing pleasure, I wonder when will it ever be me.

Yes, the above is meant to be nonsensical. My own viewing pleasure.

The crowded mass everywhere

I actually had a slightly day off than usual today as everyone was in a CNY mood. Coms only took half of the usual time and I didn't even had to stay and watch the other people's presentation during marketing lecture.

Went back to te office to visit the colleagues and ate Yu sheng, am very satisfied. A little disappointment was that I didn't have the chance to trim my hair because it was just way too crowded at the salon.

Back to the point, during the lunar new year, it is simply crowded everywhere! Like super messy, a crazy crowd. I was in watsons buying my nail polish remover and I hardly had a place to stand at the display shelf. I was practically in the store bumping into every other person with my big bag.

People around me are all so festive where I'm here starting to feel moody. Am going to hit vivo city on Thursday and watch a movie and lunch at marche ;) here I come, rosti!