Usually, at times when I planned to spend a little more quality time with my family at weekends like this - it simply ends up with nothing. Which means in short, we just end up at home doing nothing. Maybe not nothing but here it goes, Mummy watching tv, Papa sleeping and me coop up in my own room.

Which gets me really grumpy. Because I thought there should be a better way to spend a weekend, isn't it?

Le Sigh.... Apparently after the whole world labeled me as a workaholic, I thought the weekend was going to be something to look forward to but wells...

Probably had to visit a Chinese sin seh soon. The wrist has been hurting for the past week. Might have injured it unknowingly...

Looking forward to the weekend, officially having Monday blues now. The only good thing is that it's gonna be a short week for me, till Wednesday!

Speaking about things that are beyond our control and things that we can control.

I think they all revolve around the fact that certain things just happen for a reason and they exist to make us who we are.

I don't quite believe in the 命运掌握在自己的手里 theory but neither am I the 听天由命 sort of a person. However I will always remember something that my grandparents say that a lot of things seems to be decided right at birth and we can't really seems to change them in our lives. I can only say 命里有时终须有 命里无时莫强求。

Why the sudden enlightenment? Been seeing and listening to really quite some things lately. Feeling sorry towards some people, at the same time I think deep down I am too gloating over some other's misfortune. I'm sorry, I'm nothing but just another ordinary human with selfishness who will also have true feelings that I can't quite hide. The only right thing to do is to spare some thoughts about people and not do it outwardly, isn't it?

Just finished Love in a Puff.

Not the typical romance comedy but still, a good movie that sets me thinking on a homely weekend.

True indeed, we began to develop certain habits after we began to fall for a person. Be it little things you do for that person or changes that one would have made for the better or worse, However, when the love or the feel wears off, the old habits die hard and they stay with us.

When would we kick those little habits then? Probably when you fall in love for another person and this person dislike those habits which you have so there, again you make changes for this new man or lady in your life.

Just like how the woman in the movie who got into smoking in order to get to know more about the man she had a crush on but eventually decides to quit smoking because later on that boyfriend that she had wanted her to quit smoking for a better health.

Changes - instead of changing for others, why can't and don't we change for ourselves?

After the last couple of days of feeling very disgruntled, today I want to gratitude to people around me who have been there to shower me with care and concern in one way of another.

Some kind little gesture, well I presume it is, that shows me that there is kind and generous soul out there still. I think it's that kind of feeling that when you meet 10 selfish people, when you happen to chance upon this one nice person, you feel so comforted..

A little on the downside is that when my mood is picking up bit by bit, I feel that my whole body is being tore apart physical. For the last three hours my arm feel so sore all of a sudden..

Gosh am I dying young? Been quite paranoid after seeing the news of the pretty 18 year old who eventually lost the fight of brain cancer!

人生无常 so LOVE LIFE!

Nothing seems right or rather, things are all going in the wrong way.

Especially hate it when things just had to go out of control. When things goes out of hand or against my decisions, I get really frustrated.

That is what I'm feeling and experiencing right now.

What's topping it off is I feel like a total fool when it just seems like I'm behaving like a social outcast? Well, I could only defend myself by saying that I'm not that much of a sociable person which totally runs in the family. And when I don't really know someone, I can't at all pretend that I have known you since last decade. It's just, I don't act to be friendly when I know very well that I'm not?

As days goes by I'm starting to panic and get worried. I'm not going to be like the upper primary students that I'm teaching who goes around finding excuses to console my poor little self. As we all grow older, it comes with responsibilities - responsibility for ourselves and our actions.

We can't always be running to our parents all the time saying, "I've tried my best"

Please give me more willpower to work it all out...

Happy leap year...?

I'm not exactly sure what am I feeling now. Turns out that I didn't managed to scrap pass my finance module - though it was something within expectation but still, was kind of down still after that pretty much of hoping, praying and keeping my fingers crossed for a pass.

Well. Like everyone told me: it's okay and don't need to feel kek sim and bo bian must try again because who ask me to fail core unit?!

Was feeling tore apart about whether to drop the entire finance major but here's two entire school of thoughts which both make sense...

Don't know where to go.

Guess I had not felt this lost even after a levels. I think here I am at this junction where I know what's important to me, knowing the direction to go but I didn't know which path to take. Major dilemma now

The mind's running wild once more.

It's kinda weird of me. I wonder why am I entertaining those senseless thoughts and nonsense again. What a brainless toad I am... I guess it's just a cycle, just like the woman's monthly thingy. Perhaps that's the way to keep my mind balance subconsciously without me noticing it.

Feeling loved.

It doesn't matter it is by who but more often than not, it always feel good to know that there'll always be someone out there who truly loves you for who you are.

And of course, always there supporting and rooting for you.

It has been long since...

Many things on the mind lately.

Wishing for a little more time, a little more freedom and a little more courage. Sometimes I'm a little surprised at how a little weakling I can become. Or am shock at myself, for that hypocritical false front that I may be putting up, fooling yours truly even.

While we all know that silence is golden, we just can't help it but want to break the silence isn't it?

I hope the next three months will past by more breezily.

Sincerely keeping my fingers cross and may good luck be bestowed to me

I will thank whoever that is blessing you xx