任性 by Stefanie Sun

喜欢听歌感人的歌
它让我觉得爱是对的
睡不着我就醒着
喜欢唱歌动人的歌
它让我获得一点心得
得不到我就放掉
不再让日子被打乱了
寂寞很吵我很安静情
绪很多我很镇静
因为投入所以放弃
不愿再被痛醒

固执算不算任性的要求
付出也可能看不到结果
终于你还是选择了放手
用逃避让感情犯错

承诺算不算任性的要求
人总是不能太容易感动
当爱失去自我失去包容
只想要从混乱解脱
不去碰触到我的需要
喜欢听歌动人的歌

I've always find this song pretty meaningful, sums up about people breaking up I guess?

Hoping for this week to come to an end very much, had got better and more important plans plus things to do on the weekends. Revision, no?

Wanna get the "What Digital Camera" magazine at Kinokuniya too and partly its cause of the freebie that comes along with it.

Met Mel for lunch today, so true for "bags" on the streets.

Feel like sleeping very terribly :(

Note to self: Complete SAJC chemistry prelim papers by today and go flip 联合早报

sometimes, I couldn't help but question myself, "Am I a full-grown woman simply being trapped in a body of an 18 year old, or am I a kid who refuse to acknowledge the fact that I'm already 18?"

I do get tired, I think. Perhaps, I already am, very mentally and physically drained. If you think that I am a superwoman, then sorry to disappoint your expectations, I am not. I feel lethargic, I need some drive and some fun, to remind myself that I am indeed 18, or going to 19.

Only when I do those housework, then I'll realised that I'm not so much of a failure after all.

Yesterday, when I was watching Million Singer, I laughed really loud but after that moment, I asked myself, was I really that amused after all? Or was that laughter to show myself that I was still pretty much young at heart, or most importantly, happy?

When there are people being dependent on you, it seems to be a good sign. It indicates that you're reliable. But sometimes, when people depend on me, I feel scared, because I'm afraid that I might just fall over, dragging the other person right down with me.

I wonder, is not doing a good job considered a sin?

I think its just fated that I'm not that little flower that is being grown in the daddy and mummy's greenhouse. In fact, when I see people like my age whining about every single insignifcant thing, I feel like slapping them right across the face. Don't you have better things to worry about?! Perhaps, I'm just referring to myself because I do have bigger things to think about on my mind.

That's probably fending for myself. And feeding myself. Earning money during the holidays is not about having some spare cash to upgrade my closet size or to get that new plus oh-so-pretty branded bag. Because for me, retail therapy had to be capped at a minimum max, what an oxymoron huh. Earning myself an income is a necessity because as what Mum told me yesterday, 你不去赚钱，你要谁来养你？

That wasn't a joke. It came out the rough way, the hard cold realistic truth.

That's prolly the reason why I never once stretched out my hand for money, even when I was dead broke.

Maybe I'm just tired lately, not having enough sleep, having lots of random dreams and hearing lots of stupid shits.

The more you have, the more expections you have. I think that's really not healthy.

I am happy as I am right now, not craving for an changes. No 加把劲 for me, lol :D

Anyway, going to send the maid home prolly tomorrow. I'm sorry for my parents, but it think these teaches them a lesson, because you shouldnt be overall nice to your worker because they eventually step all over you. I strongly believe in this: 好人早死。That simply explains my mean and evil personality, isn't it?

Been hearing lots of shit lately, so I'm avoiding somebody.

The stomach is growling, very loudly. In my brother's place and am baby-sitting. I didn't see cup noodles around.

The stomach is protesting and I am doing Chemistry now, double sadness.

Thinking that I'm going to see Ms. A lesson tomorrow, that's gonna make my mood worse now.

I miss gossipping with lady and the cat.

Perhaps I shall steal a mooncake from the fridge later to fill my sad little stomach, hahaha.