there would be times when you don't dare to wish and don't dare to hope, because you know very well that certain things weren't there anymore. but somehow, at the most unexpected hour, something simply appears and brighten you up a little [:

i only ate five mussels at mos burger today, it was such a miracle. and rosie told me that the set discount for mos burger was only 15 cents. -.- rosie and melissa think that i lacked childhood as well as teenhood, what the hell.

apparently i went hungry again when when i got home so i made myself a pot of campbell soup (mushroom potage) which only made up to three bowls. i finished them all while i watched yu le bai fen bai and xi ling men then i slept from 18:30 to 22:15, until i was awakened by my brother's phone call to ask me if i'm going to school tomorrow. my long sleep had caused my mother, grandmother and i to miss the final episode of the show that we have been watching every weekday night on scv at 9 o'clock. hahaha, because without me switching on the tv, they won't realise its already time to watch the show.

on every friday night, i look forward to the time 11:30 to watch engine on channel u. it's like an engine night. hahaha takuya! meiying say probably young japanese teens today wouldnt know takuya kimura because he's already outdated, too old to fit into their context of today.

when i saw felicia's post about us having mid years for 3 weeks, i see that this mugging is indeed a long process ): no good entertainment for the coming days is no life. i'll see fangqi's long and boring routine day fitting into my weekdays soon.

and it's speech day tomorrow. i hope by attending it, it will motivate me to study better but i think i know, i'll probably end up being all the same.

alright, i'm getting hungry again. it's time to have dinner cum supper while i wait for the clock to strike 11:30!

we call ourselves the nan hua family, so we definitely have to stand up for one another, isn't that right? oh well, being good and nice students like fangqi and i, we had definitely carried out this practice today on the bus on our way home. we fight for our dear member of the nan hua family and let the xiao hun huns of some neighbour school to portray their oh-so-not-nice side of the picture. my brother must have been so disappointed to see such juniors being nurtured out of the school. awwww. its utter sadness ):

reminder people. if you want to scold some not-so-nice words in the public, make sure that you are not wearing your uniform or if you're wearing it, then scold softer. because it really makes your school lose lots of face. and i'm not joking, it simply reflects badly of the school.

and i cant hardly understand why youngsters like to curse so loudly and show their unhappiness so loudly in the public. i wonder is this the new standard of being "cool"? oh God, old people like us don't understand today's youth culture. i must go read more "youthlink" and "in" in the straits times every monday in order to stay young at heart (:

stress level for mid-year exams is rising ): i can't wait for it to be over, seriously

had four free periods today, it serves as a wonderful time to clear up my whole lot of rubbish.

not forgetting that meiying also killed me today during physics and the rest of them scolded me cranky early this morning when we're walking up the stairs.

oh, and xinxuan broke melissa's record for quadrapop in my phone. the highest score is now 445005, followed by melissa's 153405 then it's bright's 127185. guess bright kho will jump when he sees that his score was being overtaken.

alright. it's time to go and mug (: HOORAY, bye world.

it was the last official sports meet at nanhua high school yesterday ): i'll really miss being helpers for almost all four years.

attending almost every track heats and help out, doing all the saigang, watching people run and pant, cheer for some people using the loudhailer (eg. for jiayi), felicia shouting the command on behalf of chng, the expensive and useless sparkling water that we got, the teasing and the rain and all the fun times. especially being the champion class for c division during the our secondary 2 year, 204'05 will always, always rocks! the brother and sister bonding is something that i'll remember this lifetime [:

yesterday heats was rather meaningful, because its the last time we will attend it as a nanhuarian, as a student helper. hahaha then we did all the lame and funny stuffs and of course, the last official chance for me to scream and shout at the juniors while marking attendance. that was definitely 100% satisfaction :D

so i was really happy yesterday. i had so much fun although our pippi long stocking was angry with me for my missing in action at the side stand. hahaha, sorry pippi for letting u do three person's work for the number tags lol

enna and meiying had a hard time moving the bags. they refused to let us help them in order to prove that they're actually extremely strong but anyway, it just appears to people that we're torturing them or something.

then we had the staff race and we had a chance to play with that - the caterpillar walk thing (:

the legs from left: felicia, diana, melissa and fangqi.

the teachers should really employ them to win the race, they're seriously damn good at it.

then after the sports meet, the eight of us and tefu, jeremy and justin went for dinner at mos burger at imm. rosie and tefu were entertaining us by their heated argument regarding a sticker. hahaha lame crap

the eight of us finally got the chance to take a proper group photo with no one missing :D

the group pic of all of us :D the pjc girl we asked to take the picture for us had a good photography skill, unlike tefu. lol hahaha

the three things in one day (:

i realised one thing that rosie was trying to tell me on the bus today when we were going home, and that is she is trying to say that i drink too often so that why i don't feel that the liquor was strong in the tiramisu.

next thing is a lesson that melissa taught me, that is never make yourself believe that a train is always safer than a bus as it never breaks down halfway as evidence has shown that they do break down, especially when you're pressed for time.

the last thing is something that my tutor enlightened me today when we were discussing about the korean guy who killed 32 people (is this number correct?) in the university campus/hostel. he either must have gotten himself a machine gun (which is not really possible) or he had super aiming skills to kill 30 odds people within such a short time or not, he must have brought with him lots of bullets to make his killing a success. i wonder what was this man thinking, seriously.

and on a side note: i gave up on my biology test tomorrow ):

missed school today ): missed the rest of them so much today ):<

ADVICE OF THE DAY:

the next time when you visit the polyclinic or the hospital for an x-ray, girls please remember the exact date where you last have your period because if you have a bad memory like me, you would probably face the same fate as me by having the nurse asking you loudly in front of all other patients in the room this.

"you're not pregnant, are you? are you sure that you're not pregnant?"

seriously, i have the urge to reply, "yes mdm, i'm certainly not pregnant because i didnt do anything of that sort with the opposite gender before." or i felt like telling her, "do i appear to you that i look three month pregnant?"

i really want to see her response then. but anyway, her question made the entire room's population look at me as thought i'm some alien, if not, then worse.

bye world

after black friday. it was 14th the black saturday. it's definitely not a lucky day when you're happily standing at the traffic light, waiting for the red man to turn green, and an ex-schoolmate of yours was doing flag day, then he sees you and finally recognise you. well, not in a good way but as somebody else's **********

the information provider shall be prosecuted for uttering nonsense.

someone else shall not be named, ********** shouldnt be mentioned too (: but 14th april is definitely going to be 'marked date' on my calendar from now on.

so melissa and i went to the chemistry class again (: then she made her way down to bugis to meet her mum at a street that she didnt know it even existed. while i went home to get changed first before meeting my lady, meiying (:

she got her mirco SD at simlim square, for a relatively cheap price at $17.50. thanks to me being a regular customer from that shop and after much haggling, that kind shopper decided to give in to me and give me a discount of a pathetic 40cents. okay, that's better than nothing lors. 40cents is still money :D

after that, we set off and toured singapore's shopping district. from simlim square to parco bugis junction, then to marina square then to suntec city, then to plaza singapura and finally to vivo city for dinner. went to fre(n)sh - this is all thanks to melissa's recommandation.

i like the photos and the photo frames (:

my favourite tiramisu (: i think it tastes great but both melissa and meiying don't like it. they say the liquor taste was too strong.

meiying's main course - the crab and the ultra big portion of the peppery taste salad.

my main course - salmon and the ultra big portion of the peppery taste salad. i told the waiter/boss/chef that i don't like the salad when he came over and ask us how's the food. i'm sorry, but i simply hated pepper ):

so we ate really slowly. the couple who came in even later than us finished eating and left first. so this can proves how slowly we were eating. then we finally finished eating and took a brief walk in vivo, searching for some shop. hahaha. so we found the shop and had enough fun for the day and here, home sweet home [:

what the heck, this world is so not fair. meiying reached home at around 9:30 while i reached home at 10:15 ):

saturday was alright (: it was homework mugging time and i had homecooked curry chicken, yayness!

and monday was good when you get to slack in four whole periods (: but having monday blues sucks like hell. mid year examinations coming up and it sucks as well. why cant the bloody exams and tests leave us alone. wth wth wth.

not forgetting the fact that i overslept on the bus on my way home today again ):

certain things that doesnt seem to hold any significance to us anymore [:

we no longer touch or cleanse the wounds because then, we wouldnt feel the sting and sore.

so yeah, helped in today's heats again (: want to know what we did, simply to go felicia's blog because she had already blogged. so i returned home, drenched and exhausted, i flopped onto my bed almost right after my shower and slept.

sleeping is good [:

i don't know why i've fallen in love with this song. hahaha maybe its because i'm just getting weird lately. i'm not really into beyonce before, but i kinda like how this song goes. relax peeps, not getting emo or anything, maybe its just that terrible headache inside me that got certain things a little haywired [:

listen by beyonce knowles

listen
to the song here in my heart
a melody i start but can't complete

listen
to the sound from deep within
it's only beginning to find release

oh, the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
they will not be pushed aside and turned
into your own
all 'cause you won't listen

listen
i am alone at a crossroads
i'm not at home in my own home
and i've tried and tried
to say what's on my mind
you should have known

oh, now i'm done believing you
you don't know what i'm feeling
i'm more than what you made of me
i followed the voice you gave to me
but now i've gotta find my own

you should have listened
there is someone here inside
someone i thought had died so long ago

oh, i'm screaming out
and all my dreams will be heard
they will not be pushed aside or worse
bent to your own
all 'cause you won't listen

listen
i am alone at a crossroads
i'm not at home in my own home
and i've tried and tried
to say what's on my mind
you should have known

oh, now i'm done believing you
you don't know what i'm feeling
i followed the voice you gave to me
but now i've gotta find my own

i don't know where i belong
but i'll be moving on
if you don't, if you won't

listen
to the song here in my heart
a melody i start but i will complete
oh, now i'm done believing you
you don't know what i'm feeling
i'm more than what you made out of me
i followed the voice you think you gave to me
but now i've gotta find my own
my own

i love chicken wings :] they're probably one of the best creations on earth, but only when you know how to cook them well. thank God that early humans knew how to chop the wings off the chickens, so that now we can enjoy chicken wings! hahaha, good food makes me happy :D

nothing to blog about school. nothing's interesting or anything. other than the fact that felicia is not here today, it's awfully boring and quiet without her presence. everyone's feeling empty, in one way or another. hey daughter, you should feel damn touched right now, shouldn't you?

also, not forgetting: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JEREMY!

he wouldn't be reading this, but should still wish him a happy 16th year in his life and best of luck for whatever he does!

certain things simply happen when you least expected them to. i've learnt not to hope or wish, because i'm waiting for another surprise that is now on its way [:

I'M FEELING GAY-ICIOUS ONCE AGAIN AND ITS HAPPINESS EVERYWHERE!

shopping with mummy and daddy was good, fabulous and fantastic. one large contribution to my happiness these days is the nike bag (:

sometimes, if we could afford to wait then why not? because you wouldnt know whether would you in turn receive something even better.

let's get over that study crap for the time being, having some fun doesnt kill. felicia and melissa definitely had to agree with me, hahaha.

daddy got new mobile phone and i'm in a crazy mood, playing with his phone and the games inside, hahaha. not forgetting to say goodbye to the old sharp 17 inch and say hello to the new sony 19 inch!

let's forget all the unhappy things peeps. and happiness, here we come (:

why don't you just save your bloody energy for examinations? they're definitely more important to you guys than anything else in this world. it seems that scoring A1s gives you much more satisfication than saving some pride and dignity for yourselves.

it appears to me that some people seriously need some spectacles. because when i see them at the shooting arena, they actually missed shooting at the bullseye and instead, they wanted to aim at the outer rings. weird logic, don't you think so? i think their non-academical thinking level remained somewhere that i shouldnt mention. well, human beings try to be nice by not telling the truth, but i dont want to to lie too so i avoided saying things that i shouldn't. (adapted with slight revision to suit the above context)

so i hear, PEACE? wow, this warless ground is certainly peaceful, isn't it?

but hell yeah. if this peace isnt talking about the safe environment that singapore provides us with, i just had to say, peace my ass.

it was a tough day looking for heels with rosie and meiying today. trust me, you wouldn't want to be part of the choir. not when you realise that you have to wear standard looking white high heels that is at least two inches high while you drag your gown and move down the stage. opps, i mean - fall down from the stage. HAHAHA

lots of luck to rosie and enna in the coming SYF (:

tell me people. if your dad starts screaming at you not because of your results but plainly because your form teacher wants to see him and discuss about your performance in school, what would you do? daddy now wishes to speak to her and hopes to screw her through the phone or something and he sounded like he's really going to do that.

so dad was like shouting, "why didnt you tell your teacher that your dad is trained in spain and he practically behaves like a bull. he won't listen to you and would possibly screw you and give you some bullshit nonsense & ungraceful words which you can't stand... if she really wants me to go down to the school, i bloody hell can. but i'm not sure if she wants to see me for another time!"

oh God, i wonder why is my dad so "understanding" and so "supportive" of me. and mom was laughing like some lunatic when i told her that if dad sees my teacher, he'll probably kill two lives in one go.

when you have such a dad and mom who would possibly not attend more than one parents-teachers meeting, then you'll need a brother, who is 16 years older than you, that would become the bridge between the family and the school.

yeah right. i'm going to start studying right away and deliver the expected results that the teachers want to see from me. although it says in the progress report that i'm taking my studies very seriously, i myself would like to know where i've gone wrong and not delivering what i want to see for myself as well.

leave the not so happy things aside first. just to inform my friends that i've spent a great weekend in a isolated little place back in daddy's hometown last weekend. talked to cousins and relatives, had good food and fun time with sao-mu-ing. lol its a relaxing weekend away from this taxing city and going back to the embrace of the rural (okay, not that rural after all)

and i like this picture a lot. i think it was pretty nicely taken (:


i really hope to go back here with the seven of them when we grow up or something (not to sao mu though) because i sort of think that they will like it, i don't know why, especially rosie. because it seems that she like the beach too much!


bye world. it's gonna be a tough time for the next few months or so. both in academically and emotionally. it's a fierce fight that i have to put up for myself, to prove my worth, to show that i'm not here for nothing. i may not be perfect or terrific, but i just don't think that i'm not exactly that worse off in some aspects. perhaps there's certain things that i can't do as greatly as some other people, but i just don't think that i'm lousy because no one is lousy after all.